Friday, September 13, 2013


By Victor Ikeji


You get to meet someone from out of the blue, you both get along well, become friends and then you give out your heart (or pretend to like some). They seem perfect, it is all fun and you are comfortable. Time flies and things change. They stopped being the same person and you stop having butterflies in your tummy and then the stardust in your pocket turn into stones. Also those heavenly hallelujah your heart sings each time you see this person turns into funeral requiems. You start to get tired of the whole thing (or drama as some people call it) but you keep tolerating and hoping that things would get better. After a while, you just can't take it any longer. Sometimes there are outbursts, other times it is just you trying to talk with them calmly. It gets worse and you start to feel that your patience have been tried enough. Then comes the break-up (or someone gets jilted or dumped). You take months or years to heal (or even jump into another relationship right away) and then a break-up and then another relationship and it continues until you start to feel old (or pressurized) and have to settle with one person in that union called marriage, it doesn't just end there as another break-up comes up again only that this time it have a different name- Divorce.


You meet them probably online or in person (or one of the other places or scenarios in which people meet), you become friends and then move from that to becoming close friends before the intimate relationship resumes( in some cases, it starts on it's own before you'd even notice it). They seem perfect, it is all fun and you are comfortable. Time flies and things change. He/She starts looking like someone else as they seem to have lost that sunshine they brought into the relationship in the first place. You notice the fact that there are changes, you sit them down, you talk over issues and sometimes there are changes and other times, it seems a lesson or two is learnt. You tolerate their excesses and even sacrifice your Ego because you love them, they mean the world to you, you can't imagine a life without them (or one of those other things people in love say to each other). It continues and they seem to come back to their senses (because we humans loose them at times) and then every one of what you have done for them is being reciprocated and then the happiness you felt when you first met them is resurrected. The relationship is tried severally (because those trials would come whether you want them or not) and then you acknowledge them and not let them break you or your partner. Days turns into weeks and weeks into years, then you start dyeing their hair and tending to the Grandchildren when they come visiting till death comes knocking.

The two instances given above is what every one of us face or would face in our relationships. A lot of people are passing through or have passed through the first case only because they couldn't handle the inevitable trials and obstacles that comes with relationships.  The partners in CASE TWO understood that these obstacles are certain and must come, so they devise means to go about them.

Your relationship(s) could be that 'perfect' one which you desire only if  you acknowledge the fact that those problems must be present (if not worse), then look for ways to tackle or how to take care of them.


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