8 Types of People You May Likely Find In Nigerian Universities

Throughout the 4 years spent in the University or what my American friends would call college, I met, got acquainted to, made friends with and observed several individuals. I kind of classified them into ten and below is an attempt to describe these people. Mind you, the names used are not real but fictional. 

JACK THE BOOKWORM: This guy or type of people reads everything that has to do with his or their academic work to the extent that they use them in everyday conversation sometimes even knowing some concepts more than their lecturers. Their favourite 'fun spot' is usually the library, stadium or one of those other isolated places. They usually have that nickname - 'First Class' although many of them end up not graduating with a First class degree. They are usually ignorant of happenings around them or even some occurrences around school because of their sometimes 'withdrawn' nature. Ask them something like 'who were the people protesting on campus the other day?' And you get a reply along the lines of, 'I don't know, how does that add to my GP?'

JULIE THE MARKETER: Julie has the hustling spirit and this is how she likes to describe it but in the real sense, she is a 'runz gal'. Marketing in this contest refers to 'showcasing' her 'wares' and getting paid for them. The nature of her job(s) makes travelling a compulsory hobby sometimes as she is always on the go. She is hardly found on campus or in class because of the demanding nature of this job. She is classy and would appear in expensive wears, jewelries and phones, all thanks to her wealthy clientele. Some individuals in this class are smart and could write and speak legibly, others are outright dumb, couldn't even spell their names but only know one thing - money.

ALEXANDER THE TERRIBLE: He was probably 'blended' in his first or second year on campus and is then termed a 'strong man'. He is rarely found in class except during certain practical classes or on exams day. He appears innocent sometimes and is unnecessarily humble as it is common for him to refer to you as 'Boss' or 'Sir'. People who know him treats him with respect just to avoid getting themselves into trouble with him and he always have his way with 'Jew men'. He could be seen sometimes with a bag hanging across his shoulder - a bag you dare not touch or try to open. Alexander may not be caught smoking in public but he sure is a smoker and spends a lot of time hanging out with the boys at the bar, exchanging banters in between bottles or discussing 'business' in hushed tones.

MATERIALISTIC NONSO: He/she is that boy or girl that would rocks the latest fashion or uses that phone that is in vogue. This 'shiny' individual would spend money trying to look like those models on some music videos or even the celebrity themselves all thanks to the plethora of uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, cousins etc that they would 'tax' before returning to school even after their parents must have given them their allowances. He/she is probably from a 'humble' home but when you get to see this person in school, you'd think that the father owns an oil bloc due to their flashy appearance. Nonso would lie about everything starting from what his/her father does for a living down to why they are not attending a university abroad or a private university.

KALU THE ENTREPRENEUR: This guy has 'business' written over him, from the way he talks, reasons, down to his views about life. You shouldn't be surprised if rumours starts flying around about him owning a space at that market close to the school. Kalu, who maybe one of those people whose parents would rather starve to ensure that he remains in school sees making-money-while-in-school as the perfect getaway from frustration and inadequate funding. He sometimes drops out of school in pursuit of happiness or finishes and then faces business squarely.

UCHE THE APOSTLE: Uche could be a boy or girl or to be more specific, that brother or  sister. If you happen to be his/her roommate, be ready to get to know Jesus personally. If there is something you feel he needs to know ASAP and his number seem not to be available or his cell is turned off, just try to locate him first at the school's Gethsamane (usually a place , not necessarily a church where students gather to pray sometimes) or in any other place(s) where brethren meet. Uche eats, reads and sleeps the bible sometimes even forgetting about his/her coursework till exams day. Uche stays in the hostel or have an apartment offcampus but a greater part of his/her day is spent attending one fellowship meeting or the other. Although he may not be in your faculty but don't be surprised to find him in front of your class one early morning just before lecture commences trying to tell the whole class a thing or two about Jesus Christ.

JOHN THE CLASS CLOWN: Every class in every department in every faculty in the University has this particular guy. He cracks everybody up with either his speech, body movement or the way he answers question in class. Most people see him as unserious but he could be one of those people that exams haven't really favoured and so they sought solace in making others smile.

PATRICK THE RANDOM GUY: He is what some people call the unusual everyday guy. He attends class just like every other person, submits assignments and writes exams just like every other student. He is usually not involved in things like politics or sports in the department but he could be found among the observing crowd. He appears simple and does not court attention. He is the best person to ask for any information concerning the department or faculty because he can be found everywhere as long as there are people there and it has to do with the department or faculty.

Bottom line is: God creates people with different characters and personalities and then have them placed at different parts of the country/world but the university brings them together. The university affords you with the opportunity to learn from this vast array of individuals.

Seize the opportunity!

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Twitter: @victorikeji

THE UNIVERSITY RUNZ GIRL: A sneak peek into her life

The average university girl who is into 'runz' is known as a runz gal. A word which I think is just subliminal for prostitution. But I dare you to call one (runz gal) a prostitute, not only would she call you names but your hard working mother at home would get some of her insults. But you would agree with me that any girl who spreads her legs for money is an 'Asewo' or 'Akwuna' as the Yoruba and Igbo people call it not minding the term used in covering up that evil practice.
This journey (runz) which ends up haunting the girl involved all through her life even in marriage is usually embarked upon by a girl who wants to 'belong', a girl who wants to be seen as a 'bigz galz' or a gal who is from a poor background and wants to supplement her income as a good number of them would claim. Some others attribute their becoming a 'runz gal' to peer pressure. Bt either way, I see the sole reason for becoming a runz gal as greed and nothing more.
The typical University runz gal always appear stylish and in vogue and in some cases drives a posh car, all thanks to her father's age mates which she has as clients. She is often not in class or out of school entirely as she needs to ply her trade far from where she would be noticed. Her attendances and assignments are often taken care of by the class representative, Head of Class or a trusted friend whom she is always in contact with and in some cases pays both in cash and kind as a result of covering up for her. She normally doesn't relate with everyone but a select few who are either into the same business as her or are still learning the trade. She sometimes keeps a 'school boyfriend' that everyone knows of, just as a decoy so that people won't suspect her. She likes her privacy which is why she doesn't stay in the hostel but would rather rent an off campus residence. When asked the reasons for her constant travels, she is quick to provide replies such as: To visit her sister or cousin in another school, to attend a friend's wedding or that she has a business which she takes care of in another state and other well structured lies. Most of these girls excel in academics regardless of whether they attend classes, write assignments, examinations or not as they have amassed enough money to pay their way through i.e where money is needed and are quick to spread their legs for anyone standing on their way to academic success if that is what is required.
The problems she encounters during and after this her supposed 'entrepreneurship' are not just one but a litany of them which includes: STD's because most clients like it 'raw', womb destruction due to incessant abortions, problems in marriage because she is hardly satisfied by one man and death because most of the times she is the perfect bait for ritual killers.
Having read and understood this message, I wonder why an undergraduate who should concentrate on passing her exams would still decide to boost an Ego which would be deflated in no time.
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COHABITATION IN NIGERIAN UNIVERSITIES: The Undergraduate 'nna anyi' syndrome

The first time this was mentioned to some university students, they reeled out laughter at that coinage because some experienced and could attest to it. In university campuses across Nigeria, it is a common phenomenon for male students to rent off-campus apartments just for comfort and “a bit of privacy” as one of my classmates would say. Living in those houses alone i...s now a thing of the past as some students wants to experiment marital life before leaving campus and getting married proper. This led to the term “undergraduate nna anyi” which represents a male student living in his rented apartment with his girlfriend. This “couple life” as it is being referred to in some schools makes the male student assume the role of a husband and his girlfriend- the wife. This relationship has every attribute of a real marriage except that it must be devoid of pregnancy and the consent of the parents of both parties. The “undergraduate nna anyi” who relies on his parents for money, becomes the breadwinner as he provides money for food, sight-seeing during weekends and most often provides the female student with money for her upkeep. The female student on the other hand cooks, cleans up the house and satisfies her man’s sexual appetite. In some of these relationships, the female student’s accommodation fee is used for household expenses or in some cases, the proud-but-hungry boyfriend asks the girlfriend to look good with it (i.e. buy clothes and beauty accessories). This two are known by neighbors and people living around as they are seen going to and coming back from school together almost every day. For some, the only time they remember that they are actually students is when examinations come knocking as they spend a better part of the semester practicing family life. It is not uncommon to find most “undergraduate nna anyi’s” sleeping during lectures due to the vigils they keep at night. These male students tell every form of lies to their parents in other to get money for themselves and the demanding relationship and the female student doesn’t have this knowledge. At times of lack, maybe when the money they expect is not forthcoming or when they must have exhausted their allowances before time, these male students are seen running from one friend to another trying to borrow money just to please their girlfriends because as we all know, women have affinity for cash. The relationship as enjoyable as it seems from the outside, has dire consequences as some results in pregnancy which in turn leads to one or the two students dropping out of school or in more serious but rare cases death of either the boy or girl as a result of sexual marathons as had been witnessed in some university campuses. Most often, the male student squanders their school fees in the process which kicks off their problems in school as some are seen spending 6, 7 or more years for a 4year academic program. My advice to those who are thinking of engaging in the so called couple life is this: “not all that glitters is gold”. And for those who are already in it and think they are enjoying it- “the end justifies the means. 

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